Most recent polaroid of Mr. Mills, circa approximately 1973
An open rebuttal to Mr. Donald Mills, Esquire (crabbyoldfart.wordpress.com), in defense of young people:
The problem with old people today is they somehow gained access to the internet and can now spend their time pissing and moaning about shit in a public forum.
In the not too distant past, old people had the decency to leave the pissing and moaning about shit on the internet to the young people. The young people, fairly if you ask me, let the old people take care of the tasks they were best suited for, like trying to survive with Salisbury steak tastes on a cat-food level pension budget, and breathing in a laboured fashion. Old people were also allowed to have all of the spots available in old folks homes, even though it was a flagrant violation of equal access provisions in our country’s laws. I love Pablum! You don’t think I might like to live somewhere I could have it intravenously 3 meals a day, 365 days a year? That’s one exclusive country club, my friend.
Even though I could not actually describe myself as young, with the current pace of advancements in life-prolonging medical technologies, I may never even be able to catch middle age. How long is it until you and your Ovaltine Mafia ilk come after me as well? What’s next on your hate-filled agenda: “God Damned Middle Agers Having a Longer Lifespan Than Me Wrinkles My Knickers!” or “God Damned Formerly Young People Who Are Now Middle Aged And Run My Entire World Really Put The Frost On My Lily White Scrotum Hairs!”?
Do you ever even think about how tough it is for young people in today’s world? Sure, you may have stormed the beaches at Normandy, but after the landing, you probably still had six or seven buddies left from your platoon to help you go the rest of the way. Do you have any idea what it’s like to play World of Warcraft for thirty-six hours straight against a hundred thousand online opponents all by yourself? Now try to imagine it when you’ve run out of Red Bull, your mom is banging on your door telling you to go to school, you’re getting a cramp in your thumb, and you haven’t pissed in 12 hours. Seeing some similarities in the generational hardships?
Maybe it’s time to build a bridge between the generations, Donald. If you showed a little understanding, maybe the young people could learn to respect you in return. Let’s face it, all they have to do is unplug the wireless router and you’d be screwed anyway, trying to push the Ethernet plug into the ground receptacle of a wall outlet.
The problem with old people today is we let them gain access to the internet and talk shit instead of keeping them on islands with coconut phones and no power.
Sincerely, RBG
